A Wish for Annabelle
.jpg)
Dearest Annabelle,
When I was pregnant with your biggest brother I was terrified of one thing throughout the whole pregnancy. I was terrified that he would be a girl.
I was not prepared then to have a daughter.
Two years later I had a similar sense of dread when your second big brother was waiting to be born. He was an ox of a man right from the start – they thought he was twins at one point – and yet still as his birth approached I had a sense of dread.
Again, at the age of 25 I was not ready.
I was not ready to teach you, by example, what it means to be a woman… to really be a woman. I still feel frightfully unprepared.
And yet one year ago today I held tightly to a bare 2×4 as you were born oh-so-quickly in this little cabin into the arms of your papa with an exuberant "It’s a girl!"
I was overjoyed.
If I am your example then I pray that you will learn from my mistakes, if nothing else, so that you may…
- listen more than you speak and learn more than you teach. I can see this is already becoming a real struggle.
- be peaceful, ordered, and live a structured life rather than creating chaos for those around you.
- not grow impossibly forgetful at the ripe old age of 25.
- live without hormonal chaos such that "And then I cried." becomes the end to every story of your life. (Hopefully it’s the hormones.)
- not avoid controversy at any cost, always standing for what is right and true, and always doing your duty in those things.
- be meek and humble and always reference back to point number one in all situations.
- be a useful woman at a young age and know how to butcher a chicken before you wake up a 30 year old with a lifetime of chicken dinners behind you.
- learn and embrace the skills necessary to live a peaceful, simple life. That means you will be helping mama out a lot in the garden, laundry area, and kitchen at a young age, for your papa called you pie-maker before you were even born.
- be thankful for the larger frame I fear you have inherited – those hips come in handy during child birth and those thunder thighs will help you work in the garden and stay upright through even the fiercest of wind storms.
- in all times of hardship and difficulty and tribulation put your faith not in your family, the land, or your senses; but in the One who made you. And during those times always refer back to point number one.
- someday, Lord willing, marry a man who does not cry at the drop of a hat, is neat and organized, and has the legs of a flamingo… all a perfect balance to your, um, uniqueness.
I still shutter to think that I will be the largest female influence in your life and I pray that the Lord would guide me in teaching you all that I have still yet to learn.
And, if the Lord wills, I look forward to every overly-talkative moment you and I may share over the collective hum of rolling pins over pie crusts heavily dotted with lard and wash basins filled with clay-soiled shirts.
That is, if I can get a word in edgewise.
I was scared to have a girl also. I discovered with my 2nd, though, that they are such a blessing. I’m thankful everyday for this sweet daughter and pray that I can be a good example to her.
As my oldest begins to experience the changes puberty brings, I’m still scared and also pregnant with our 3rd girl! I always thought I’d be the Mom of boys, but God has called me to raise girls, and He blessed me with one awesome, Very Challenging Boy. Funny how He knows what we need:)
Happy Birthday Annabelle! You are such a darling! God blessed you with the most beautiful red hair, and it looks so good on you! My daughter just turned 33. Having a daughter is like no other gift God can give to woman! I have a son also, who is my first born. Each child and situation is unique in itself and there is something very special about each.
Beautiful post, Shannon! Happy birthday to Annabelle!
I love the reference to a sturdy frame. When I was little my
Czech grandmother used to say in thickly accented English, “Eat, eat. You’re too skinny.” Later she would get me by the shoulders and say, “What a good sturdy girl.” My family says I remind them of Grandma Duffek.
I loved this post! I feel the same as you concerning my daughters. Yes, I have two…yikes! It is no small thing to try to raise our daughters (and sons) in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. With His grace, our children will become who He has meant them to be…His children.
I had two boys and then desperately wanted a girl. My third was a boy as was my fourth. Now I can’t imagine what I would do with pink in the house but we are given what we were meant to have as far as kids.
She is adorable!!! Love all that red hair.
This is utterly precious. I nearly cried as I read it. It could be straight from my heart to my 8-month-old little girl (younger sister of two boys, as a matter of fact). Thank you for putting words to my emotions. God is so good to give us others who can empathize with us.
I do not have any children; I really wanted them but it just hasn’t happened for us which is ok. I so love that you wrote this letter for your dear daughter. We all want to know that our mother cherishes us and that she wants to give us the best upbringing possible. Years from now when your precious little girl is grown she will look at these words and cherish them. She will know how much you love her and she will be so happy that you are her mama. Thank you for sharing these beautiful sentiments.
Sorry for words that do not make sense – got was suppose to be God and
God is “so” good, not solo? autocorrect can be a pain sometimes.
As a momma to five boys, the thought of a girl excites and frightens me. I cannot have anymore children with this body of mine however, we plan to adopt in four years. And I look forward to trying to adopt a girl. Although I have the same reservations you yourself wrote about.