What Makes a House a Home?
We live in about 300 square feet, these three children, husband, baby belly, and I. Most of you already know that, but there it is, in case you didn’t. It is a makeshift cabin built by my husband which is attached to the small camper we moved into when we first arrived on the land
Oh there were plans for building a “real home” right away, and then it was by the second year, and now we’re into the third year and I wouldn’t even hazard a guess as to if or when that might take place.
I have gotten a lot of questions from readers, family, and friends on just when exactly we’ll be living in a “real home”. You know, the kind where walls exist between actual rooms and the square footage matches up to our expectations of how much space we should have for each little and big person.
I don’t have an answer for that, except I don’t know.
I’ve gone through my own phases in dreaming of a “real home”. This was to be our temporary living quarters while we built that home, but that building just hasn’t been a financial priority for us yet. While waiting I have often caught myself saying “With more space…” and “If I had a better setup…” and “Things might be easier…”.
But contentment is not circumstantial. If my attitude is crap at 300 square feet, could it not be three times as crappy at 900 square feet? Maybe it’s not that formulaic, but what might I find in 900 square feet that I can’t in 300?
Are we not sheltered? Are we not clothed? Are we not fed?
These walls have surrounded us through a couple of the hardest, most meaningful, most eye-opening and heart breaking years we have lived. They kept us dry on the soggy night when Annabelle came into our arms. They witnessed our mistakes, our hard-learned lessons, and our utter joy in this homesteading process. In them we have snuggled under blankets while reading Little House on the Prairie with our children and answered some of the hardest questions a little person can ask. They have provided a place for fellowship with others and each other.
This has made it our home.
I had been taught by many in homemaking circles that we should make a home for our family that is a haven from this world, a respite from a culture that does not seek the things of God. And so it should be warm and inviting and comforting, amongst other things.
I still try to do all of those things, but at some point my thinking shifted. What are we doing here if not trying to live separately? Shouldn’t our daily life, thoughts, involvements, and occupations be that respite? Was I trying to create something within those four walls that should have been in our heart and lived out in our days?
One summer Sabbath day Stewart and I were sitting out in the breeze. We were watching the children play with sticks and dirt, discussing what he was reading, talking of what we might do on the homestead in the future, and of course whether or not we would build a “real home”.
I was behind on dishes, the floor wasn’t swept, and the home was not in order when we woke up to a warm Sabbath day. I felt like I was failing my family and this day was just one of the many summer days that looked similar.
“I’d love to give you and the children a well-kept home,” I said through tears.
“I’d love to give you a home to keep,” he countered.
Then there was a silence filled with words unspoken: “But if we don’t, that’s okay too. Let’s just keep doing what we’re supposed to be doing.”
Besides, we already have all that we need.
As always, your words are beautiful and inspiring. God bless you 🙂
@Mandi, That’s very kind, Mandi, and thank you for reading and commenting!
I think you already have your home. Maybe someday you will have a bigger house…but a home — you’re doing it right.
@Sandy, As far as an earthly home, I can’t imagine much more. It’s also a good reminder to not be living for this world.
Hello! I’ve been a regular reader for about 6 months now, but don’t think I’ve commented before. I do not share your religious faith, but highly enjoy reading about your experiences.
I live in Northern California, and as much as I would like to think that I’m living a self-sustanable lifestyle, and other than my efforts to grow my food and that I know how to butcher a chicken, it would be described pretty much as “normal”. I have a modest house of 1100 square feet, yet am constantly wishing I had “more space, better space”. There are lots of “one days” and “if onlys” in my dreams and wish lists.
Thank you for the eloquent reminder that the walls around us do not make a home, but are only a house. My 1100 sq ft. is more than enough, it is my content that is not. As you said “I have already have all that I need”. I don’t need a bigger house with the fancy pintrest inspired kitchen, I am in need to be thankful for what I have.
Thank you for your words, I look forward to more!
best,
melissa
forgottenskillsfarm.com
@Melissa,
Thank you for your comment! I actually avoid going to sites like Pinterest and “home” sites that involve all of the pretty pictures. No need to stir up discontent in my spirit.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
For almost 3 years now we have been living in a studio flat of 300SqF just the two of us. We dream of having a small bedroom just big enough to fit an actual bed and kitchen big enough to have any counter space and an oven (our oven lives in our room). We like being here, but would love more space. You are now a hero of mine I have no idea where I would put 3 children soon to be 4 in our modest home. I try to stay content but need a gentle reminder of how blessed we are every now and then. You just gave me one. I wish you more contentment and the Lord’s blessing on all your endeavours.
@MissPeaches, Thank you!
Wow. This is one of those few posts that will stick in my heart longer than all others in my blog feed. Thank you so much for being real. I can certainly relate to your story – including how similar our building structures are/have been. I don’t know exactly when we’ll have our house either and I go through similar emotional struggles as you know from reading our posts. I am encouraged by your reminder to focus on living well no matter what your home looks like. Sending you a virtual hug 🙂
@Mama, I know you can relate and thanks for the hug. 🙂
Now Shannon, you dry those tears. It’s all gonna be fine.
@Judy,
Thank you. It seems that the tears flow more readily at 95 degrees and above :).
If you would be open to sharing, I’d love to see how you make a small space work inside, especially with children. Our goal is to move to our own land and we know we will be starting out with a small cabin. Thank you for sharing with us.
KJ – I’m considering answering your question in a post… if I can come up with something beyond “we’re barely hanging on”. 🙂
See, this is where a definition matters. You already have a home. What you are wanting is a house. Because ultimately, the home is in the heart, and the house is just where you live.
Joy is in your grasp. I can see you rejoicing in it in your writing.