Quite the Opposite
The red dirt road was cool under my bare feet and it felt good on that warm January day. I walked as I usually walk these days – arms filled with a fifth baby we call Joshua, mind still in awe of all we’ve been given.
I could hear the iron T-post pounder as I walked so I followed its melody. Stewart is building fence these days – when he’s not working nearly full-time – making him easy to find when he’s out on the land. As I moved down the dirt road, a shadow cast by cedar trees reminded me that it is still very much January, though I can’t bring myself to call it winter. So I moved back into the warmth of the sun and looked down into the face of the smallest of men.
I had planned to go talk to Stewart – he usually tells me how things are going and we bounce around homestead and work ideas. But something kept my bare feet on the dirt road and I just stood and watched. I saw him pound T-posts with unimaginable ease. I heard him talking to Elijah and Abram – nine and seven – as they worked together to clear fence line with their daddy. I saw it all through cedar trees the deepest shade of green and they never even knew I was there.
I remembered then what my biggest fear was when I was a very young adult, not long before becoming a wife and young mother. I feared I would become that female cliche they lie to you about in the movies, the one who woke up in her thirties and realized that motherhood and marriage had stolen a piece of her. In this nightmare she stared into the mirror at a woman she could no longer find, empty from the giving, robbed of her identity.
Ten years, five babies, and far fewer appliances later I stood on that dirt road as a different cliche – barefoot with a baby in my arms, about to return to the kitchen. The girls would be awake soon and we would make dinner and wash dishes. The boys would run into the house and tell me all about their adventures while retrieving the milk pail. I would look around at these five and wish not for their lives to be easier than mine, but for them to have fewer lies to wade through on their way to truth.
Because they were wrong and so was I; I am neither empty nor robbed. Quite the opposite, actually.
Quite the opposite.
Beautiful, Shannon…
Great post. Also, congratulations on the new baby! You and your family have found real riches in life. More important than all the money in the world.
Shannon, you don’t know me but I have followed your posts for a long time. Each one is more encouraging than the next, and I always find myself refreshed and refocused after reading your thoughts. Thank you for speaking truth into this dark world and reminding us of the beauty the Lord has given us in all of the small details of life. I am also an avid fermentor, and really appreciate your recipes and cultures, and am inspired by your ability to keep fermenting and homeschooling during the busy times. We’ve just begun our homeschooling journey and reading your posts always brings me a sigh of relief and reminds me that we are at home…school fits into our life and not the other way around. I just entered my thirties, am nursing my fourth baby as I write this, just getting done working all morning on our little urban homestead; I relate to the cultural worldview you related, and am sad that even those in our family do not see the beauty that is here, and that our lives- and marriage-are more full than we could have ever imagined in the life we lived before, so far from the Lord. So thank you for all the encouragement and I will continue to smile when I see a new post in my Inbox 🙂
It brought me to tears… you write so beautiful 🙂 “I would look around at these five and wish not for their lives to be easier than mine, but for them to have fewer lies to wade through on their way to truth” LOVE!
Shannon, I think that’s my favorite post out of all you’ve ever written.
God bless you and your precious family,
Kelly
Boy I have been missing your goodness, and I am so grateful to hear about how well you all are doing. Give your family a few good hugs and carry on. You made my day. Amanda
Beautiful post Shannon.
True
Awe-inspiring ….speaks to me as a new mother
Beautiful words and a beautiful wish!
Your posts are always a breath of fresh air – pulls my heart to a different life style – wonderful
*sigh*
So true, and lovely. I want to say, “Amen!” Read this aloud to my children here at the table, the oldest at home being 22, and I believe God is glorified through it all. I will pray this for my children: that they will be made wise, and shake off the snares that so easily entangle, which are the lies of the evil one that you’re talking about. So well-said!
Amen!
As a grandmother I find myself thinking about the lives of my grandchildren and these words are exactly my heart as well:
“…not for their lives to be easier than mine, but for them to have fewer lies to wade through on their way to truth.”
As I sit here eating your amazing coconut pancake recipe (how I stumbled upon your blog years ago) I watch my three little boys pretend to build a house outside like their daddy built additions to our off-grid cabin in the desert. Our stories of leaving the rat race to lead a simpler but MUCH more fulfilling are so similar. I adore this post and all that your family is doing!! I’ve never commented before, but just have to say that I completely agree with your sentiments and your post today brought me so much joy! Hugs from one off-grid mama to another!
What a beautiful post. I am speechless. I want to print it and frame it. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
This is beautiful… and so true. As the Word says, when we put aside ourselves and selfish ways we find the joy in life and giving. Motherhood and being a wife is such a blessed opportunity to give and find joy in it!