The Homeschool Years

I’ve wanted to homeschool our children since I carried that first precious life in my womb. Those earliest years went fast and smooth, just these two little boys and I. By the time we moved off-grid  in 2011, Elijah was five and was writing, doing some basic math, and learning to read. I remember being asked not long after we moved here how long school took me. With just a kindergartener and second grader I responded with an easy: “Not more than an hour most days, but their whole day is learning.”

The next eight years were a blur of struggling to build a homestead, writing part-time (sometimes closer to full-time), and homeschooling two then three elementary-age children… all with a sweet new babe in the wrap every couple of years. Those years added up and by the time Elijah hit the 7th grade, Ruth became our fourth “student” with all of the fun of phonics and math and following mama from kitchen to garden to clothesline and back.

And that’s when things began to shift.

A 1st, 3rd, 6th, and 8th grader to educate with a toddling Josh and sweet baby Hannah by (or on) my side. I stopped writing and Stewart went to work off the homestead for the first time. We decided we’d spend the money on a hefty weekly laundromat bill instead of washing clothing by hand, something that had taken a few of hours out of nearly every single day of the week (along came the off-grid washing machine a year or so later). With Stewart gone all day, every day, I tried and failed to keep up with barnyard and garden chores, eventually letting our animal-loving children take over the chores they asked for and pretty much letting the garden go for a good few years.

Our off-grid homestead dreams basically came crashing into reality and I started remembering a theme from all of the books on the pioneers I had read. Living off the land, spending your entire day washing laundry, cleaning up, preparing food from scratch, and working at growing that food… it all added up. When did you have time for math, history, writing? Some children were asked to spend their days at the plow or laundry board as well. A little bit of reading and writing and arithmetic might be learned by candlelight, unless you could be spared the time to go to the one room schoolhouse… if there was a teacher nearby.

I knew unschooling was a thing, and we certainly appreciate and try to practice the life skills aspect of that approach, but as a wholesale educational philosophy, it simply wasn’t right for our family and what we felt lead to give our children. So we had to weigh our priorities and both Stewart and I knew what we had to do. And we are thankful, in God’s providence, that circumstances are such that they can have an education rather than asking them to work the fields instead.

So that’s when we took a hard look at things and, intentionally or not, began putting that homestead dream to the back burner.

The angst of that reality playing out was a struggle; letting go hurt. The shifting in thought process and logistics has taken years to walk through. I harbored a good deal of regret that my earliest off-grid homeschooling years were not fully and completely dedicated to educating our children, as they are now. That led to a couple of years of me buckling down so hard on school with everyone that I stopped gardening, stopped writing here, stopped relationships, and honestly hardly even left our front door. A year ago, by God’s grace, I realized how out of balance that was and am currently trying to recoup my health as a result. On the bright side, we are now so far ahead that we could easily stretch our school years out a bit with plenty of space for extra real life educational opportunities.

The irony in all of it is at once funny, tragic, and refreshing. A bit of margin for the first time in nearly a decade feels like the cool autumn breeze whispering through the lingering Texas heat these October days. I am so very grateful for the many answered prayers concerning curriculum and wisdom (which I desperately need), and finding a rhythm that finally seems to suit all nine of us.

So what became of homesteading? We still live off-grid, but Stewart has lovingly and deliberately done everything he can to make the often very time-consuming domestic side of this life, and the three meals a-day from scratch cooking, more efficient. A washing machine. Instant pots. A full-size refrigerator and freezer. And the piece de resistance for this Minnesota lady and our mostly cold-loving children: air conditioning!

As far as the details of gardens and animals, I will maybe share that another day, but they are still a part of our everyday reality, just not the focus. Because we’ve never found a way to create an income stream from the homestead, Stewart is gone for at least 10.5 hours every day as he prioritizes providing for his family at this point in time. The children and I spend most of our day in and out of school books, with cooking and homemaking peppered throughout. We bookend our days with garden and animal chores. I still love filling and canning jars and spent a good chunk of May and June happily (okay, ecstatically) making pickles, salsa, eggplant preserves, and squash relish (oh, the jars of squash relish). As I write this, I realize that our family, as a whole, is actually growing much

As you can tell, the love for this fulfilling way of life never left us, but doing it full-time is just not currently what God’s Providence has for Stewart and I.

Through the messiness of these years the Lord has been so faithful. I am completely convinced that He was upholding us through the past five or so years, which have been especially difficult for various reasons, but also very edifying. We are grateful to Him for all of His guidance and wisdom and the ability and resources to spend these years preparing these seven hearts and minds that He has entrusted to our care for whatever the Lord calls them to.

And if there is anyone out there still reading this, thank you for sticking around and hi, it’s good to see you again.