The Power of One Less Thing
I stood in our little kitchen, busying my hands with the food which lay before me on the plywood counter top. Sweat dripped down my face, my back, and my legs as I stood in that 100 degree kitchen. And then it wasn’t just sweat streaming down my cheeks.
I turned to my husband, seated on the bed just behind me, and tried to compose myself enough to speak. I’m not one of those cute criers, you know the ones who speak calmly while a single tear rolls down their cheek. I’m the blubbering, red-faced, can’t-hold-it-together kind of crier. And this summer, the hottest I’ve ever known, had seen a lot of tears.
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When I had finally pulled it together enough to speak, all that could come out was a whimpering "I don’t think I can do it all. The dishes, the laundry, the three meals a day, the 10+ articles per week, the homeschool, the baby, the it’s-too-hot-to-sleep. I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m sorry."
And in that moment he heard me and pulled out a notebook and wrote down a list of the things I wasn’t going to do. A few things were crossed off the list, but one thing I’d always resisted made all the difference. We were going to use paper dishes for every meal, just to get us through the next few weeks. I swallowed hard, said yes, and the following weeks were so. much. easier.
Fast forward to August and I am making my morning coffee at that same counter. We’re out of cream so I pour some of the raw goat milk we get from the neighbors into my cup. It’s a little different, but still awesome and I wonder why I haven’t thought to do this before. It’s like I was blinded by my "need" for cream in my coffee. So I cross cream off my grocery list permanently and look forward to, Lord willing, a cup of coffee with milk from our own goats someday.
And now it’s October and I’m at the stove cooking. I realize that I have a bottle of olive oil staring at me that I haven’t used in a couple of weeks. As I grab for the jar of tallow that I rendered to fry potatoes it dawns on me that I use that for cooking and homemade goat milk kefir for dressing salads. And maybe, Lord willing, that could be lard and goat milk from our own animals.
Now olive oil is one less thing I need on my list.
So why am I telling you all of this? Maybe it’s because in my world, where every item on the grocery list seems to taunt me for thinking we could do this, one less thing is a big deal.
Or maybe it’s because one year ago all I could see was the list of things we needed: gardens, chickens, pigs, goats, fences, solar ovens, and more. And now, one year in, I am beginning to see that establishing a sustainable way of life might be less about the things we need and more about the things we don’t.
Another great post! I enjoy your blog so much. Thank you for keeping it real.
This was a wonderful post and practically brought me to tears. I have been thinking these same things lately; and even though our lives are very different……the one less thing for me (on the grocery list, or whatever else needs to be deleted) has been working out so well. Thank you so much for writing about it.
Elizabeth
This was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for posting it. Thank you!!
This is probably your most powerful post, Shannon. And it sounds like it has become a turning point at this time for you all!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful post, enjoy reading your posts
and how real it is that you share your family and life living Off Grid.
Pat
Shannon, thank you so very much for your posts. I’d kind of like to say something to encourage you and your family, but the encouragement you give everyone else who reads about all the stuff that you guys are “experiencing” (enduring, going through, whatever) is so much more than I think I’d be able to give back to you and yours. I’ve never met you, but I sure do appreciate you.
That is a sign of your progress towards self-sufficiency, you should be very proud. I often think about things that I use and wonder if its something I could make/grow or if I should be making/growing something else as a substitute. The more you think about, the more you can do yourself and the less you rely on the supermarket. It is a gradual process though, you can’t do it all at once!
We have very different lives, but so many of us struggle with keeping all the plates in the air. In that way, we are very much the same. Feeling grateful for the God who supplies the grace and strength to do what he’s called us to, and the wisdom and humility to know when it’s too much. Thank you for your honesty.
Thanks so much for writing this post. Reducing the stuff in my life has been an ongoing project of the past few years. Simplifying our food choices has been a more recent change, so this really strikes a chord with me. Anyway, I’m just glad to have found your blog and I’m following your RSS feed now to make sure I don’t miss anything.
Words to live by. I am constantly being challenged by what I think I need. This is a very inspirational post.
So with you on this and something I have been thinking about often as of late. While we haven’t gone to quite the extreme that you have in changing our lifestyle, we have taken on some huge challenges and I’m still trying to figure out how to do it… mostly on my own since my husband works close to an hour a way and for the time we can’t change that. I have wondered how you’ve kept up the writing. I have been wanting to write a blog post for months, but still haven’t found the time to do it. I rarely have time to even sit at the computer other than when I may be nursing. Thanks for you thoughts!
I faithfully read your blog each morning in my email, on my phone, in my very electrified house and I think of you and how it reminds me of my grandmother and her relatives. I am glad you gave up on the plates for the time being. You are really doing a lot, too much, and giving up that one thing can be a lifesaver. Literally. When I had five kids and I cried because I did not have a dishwasher and cooking all the food we ate from scratch when no one was old enough to help I was blessed to have my great aunt there with me.
She told me that her mother raised fourteen children in a two room coal shack with no running water or electricity. Her mother hauled in water from a well apart from the house and hand sewed all her children’s clothes (down to the underwear) by a single kerosene lamp in the kitchen. Immediately I feel like an idiot. I had a clothes washer (no dryer, just a line) and running water, central heat and a stand mixer. I apologized for being such a wimp. She cut me off immediately.
She told my husband and I to do whatever it took to get the wiring and plumbing for that dishwasher as soon as we could. She told us that I *needed* that washer. She wanted us to know that her own mother literally worked herself to death by the time she was 38 and had been so busy and so consumed that she had never known her mother, not her middle name, not her favorite color, not even her birthday.
Now, there were a lot of contributing factors in her death, not the least of which was Crisco. I do not think you are working yourself to death and I am not being critical. What I am saying is that you cannot be all things to all people and you and your husband and decide what you will be and do and it might mean you are not a dishwasher. Cheap paper plates compost, that can be good enough.
When I was first having children, I had three kids in just over two years. A fabulous mentor reminded me that having a lot of children is sometimes it is not about deciding what to do, but rather deciding what not to do. I think it was some of the best advice I ever received.
Anyway, prayers and hugs and I hope things are going more smoothly now.
Awesome post. I love reading your blog :)! Your an inspiration to me. I dream of a garden, chickens and making everything from scratch. Thank you, thank you. May blessing to you & your family.
And that, my dear, is the beginning of Wisdom right there. Doesn’t matter which type of life you are living — when you realize you have all you need and you mostly need less, not more — you start to find Wisdom.
“establishing a sustainable way of life might be less about the things we need and more about the things we don’t.”
This is so true!
I too had the “I cannot do this” episode, actually, episodes! It does get so hard sometimes. But we keep on, because it’s the best thing we can do.
Katija,
Isn’t He merciful in teaching us through those “episodes”?
You are so full of wisdom and I truly respect the journey that you are on.
I hope in addition to the list you and your husband put together, he also gave you a big hug and told you that you are doing the best that you can!!
Us moms all need that reassurance more often than we think!
Janeen,
I don’t know that I am “full of wisdom”. In fact (I hope) this blog details my stumbles and His grace in using those to teach me. And, yes, Stewart is incredibly understanding and encouraging. I don’t deserve him. Thanks for your comment!
Today we killed our first-ever home-raised Thanksgiving Turkey. At the end of it all I told my husband that I’m not sure how soon I want to do that again. But the experience makes me think that I might be just as happy in the future to pay/trade a local farmer for a humanely-raised turkey instead. Seeing the money we put into it, not to mention the effort, I can see myself being happy now to pay the high price such a bird would command.
On the other hand–there may be times when that money isn’t available, and it may come down to wondering how important that “Thanksgiving Dinner Turkey” actually is–we really like pumpkin pie after all, and maybe the centerpiece turkey will actually be our “one thing less”.
(Also, using bacon grease that we save in a jar to cook other things in is my favorite thing ever–I totally feel like I’m “beating the system.” )
This is amazing! Thank you for such a timely sharing of your heart. I needed this. Praise God for His wisdom and for your love in sharing it. Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with me. I am blessed by your transparency. God bless you.
Thank you for posting about the paper plates. It is just more proof that every mother, no matter their way of life, cannot do it all, all the time. And it’s OK!! Thank you for showing your readers that it’s ok to not be able to do things how you want to all the time. That it’s ok to give in on somethings for the betterment of yourself and your family life. You can always pick it back up at a better time. I love reading your posts, keep up the amazing work!